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07 is the year of the five G's. [Feb. 8th, 2007|10:09 pm]
With most of my friends moving to deal with, now the younger ones are now going away to college. Cindy seems like she is growing up a little but i secretly think she'll fail at going to college. Lots of people I might consider friends from work are as well. Sarah, Greg, Shelly, Will, Adam are all getting away. There's just jenny and I left to wander for a bit.

till then my hands are getting older and i'm actually for the first time in my life making goals. finishing them too.

and since no one really reads this anymore, here's a random Fuck for good nature.

and... i'm done.
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What you don't see you don't know [Jan. 29th, 2007|06:19 pm]

I think i might get by this week ok if tomorow goes well that is.

i told dawn it was cause i got a piece of gum stuck in my hair. but i lied. so i'll leave my hair up from now on.
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Like something fierce [Jan. 28th, 2007|02:30 am]
[mood |irritatedirritated]
[music |Ladytron- Seventeen]

it's the drawing on cindy's wall, it's the new pictures on myspace, the posters on my wall. this song.

adamal15: all day yeasterday and today i have been filling out stuff for my school job
PikPikCarrot: neat
[ i can't be excited about you not coming back, not just yet]

adamal15: whats up what is that so constant?
adamal15: whats tommarrow?
PikCarrot: take down posters, get new phone, go to work, get home, ze boxes
adamal15: take down posterS?
adamal15: pokemon
adamal15: time to trow them away?
PikPikCarrot: i'm unsure as to what i'll do with them
adamal15: just tired of them?
PikPikCarrot: no.. just need something else
adamal15: a new phase in your life
adamal15: like beign super in to korn again is maybe a good direcion
PikPikCarrot: goodnight adam
PikPikCarrot: well your probably fet them back, when you come back that is
adamal15: so youtradind in good taste for bad tatse now?
night. [oh you mean like when you traded me in for aggi??]

adamal15: Im still 60 so if you are two we shoudl quest a bit
adamal15: anyway walkies
adamal15: bakc in less then an hour
adamal15: much less maybe
PikPikCarrot: okie
[ if you think i'm gonna play with you you can shove that walk and your blame party--'should' up your ass]

i want to tell him sometimes all that he's done to hurt me but sometimes i know he understands why i don't throw it back in his face.
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my life in boxes [Jan. 18th, 2007|01:55 pm]
[music |LadyTron's: Destory Everything You Touch]

i believe mark said it best when he told me i needed three boxes when i move out.

Clothes box
Computer box
Gadgets box

as i go through what to keep and what to displace elsewhere i am struck with the unfamiliar notion that he was right.

i'm up to 5 boxes, all full of stuff i don't even know if i'll have room for in my new place. but i keep thinking to myself, "wouldn't that be cool if i could make this into an art project" and then throw it in my craft box. craft box is on second wave.

i put my silk asian dress in the give away box today. the one i never got to wear with i was dating adam. it's amazingly hard to let of stupid materialistic things that were coupled to someone you spent so long with.

i feel better already though, my keyboard, and kitchen stuff are next.
funny to think i still have a majority of my stuffed animals. they aren't making the first cut though.

today's high so far: tearing down wall posters
today's low thus far: fucking alisha's laugh

Paul: What kind of future can she have with this guy, he cuts meat.
Tommy: You plow snow.
Kev: Hey, at least meat you can eat.
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"I'd like to move out of this place. Change my name, get a new face." [Sep. 4th, 2006|02:31 pm]
I don't remember where I read it but there's a quote that I'm thinking of

"Only when you lose everything can you learn to appreciate anything"

Today I start the 5th life puzzle of my series. What with the abrupt end to my best friends I've got to start over and this well be a great distraction and movitavator towards my now new goals.

"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonns seem a whole lot longer then you like."
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blah blah blah shoot me blah [Aug. 31st, 2006|01:30 am]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

i know i'm not like a lot of my age group, especially the girls, i'd like to think i pride myself on this, as pretentious as this are already sounding. ughh.

the most dreadful people of society go almost everywhere nowadays.

most people don't challenge themsleves mentally, they just don't question their families, their beleifs, and the way they drive their car. they get so caught up in their distain bubbles worried about bad drivers, gas prices, where they sit in a movie theater, they need to wake up and see life isn't all choices gone good or bad. random plays too much of a part in the sheme of things.

ever feel like screaming your head off, and running down the road naked, and not stopping until you reach the cliffs? And maybe not even then?

maybe i'll rant some more since i hardly make long entries nowadays.

you ever get that feeling that no matter what you do, no matter what attempts you make to improve yourself or to shape yourself in a certain direction, everything just inevitably collapses, and you're left back at stage one?

if i was a color, i'd be grey. occasionally i'll make an attempt to be red, or green, or blue, but like those old underwear that you bought from JCPenny far too long ago, i'll always return to that same shade of grey. comfortable, safe, but ultimately boring.

"Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire."

"Oh. I am gonna curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find."
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Safety in the number one [Aug. 30th, 2006|02:35 pm]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I've started packing my televison, dvd player, vhs and my game systems in their proper boxes today.
I can't tell you how good it feels to clean the clutter of my life away; pack it in boxes, recycle parts, or just plain throw it out.

My room now seems a tad bit bigger, which of today I was noticing is indeed too small. How am I ever gonna fit a desk in here I wonder.

I've not had a desk before and it has me all sorts of excited that I am getting a new computer cause then I can have two computers and one I can devote to music and bullshit then a school computer/wow.

There's so much more room for improvement now.

It's taken me some time but now I know that whatever I tell one of my friend's, it gets around to the other. So I'm gonna keep ignoring them for longer, making excuses. It's not fair I'm volunteered to drive so damn much. I'm ready to go back to being able to just say, "I'm too busy, sorry"

in other news, I've showed my cards, and now all I can hope for him is to follow suit.

Random quote - "You are a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard."
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"Run mad as often as you can but do not lose sight of the moon" [Aug. 19th, 2006|03:12 pm]
[mood |indescribableindescribable]

It's hard for me to imagine I'll be in another state in just a few days. Although essential everywhere is the same. My romance with the idea of moving out has long since disenchanted my intrests bittersweet.

I only live for my bike rides home now. There's something so hauntingly familar about racing down an open stretch of street only to not know what's waiting for you.
I embrace the dark like shadow skin, I am stealth, I am quick and powerful, everything I can not be normally. My senses are re-awaken at the crisp scent of pine in the city, salt by the lake, and car vinyl.

nonetheless, I never leave fifth gear as my body shudders with the single best emotion known to man. Promise. Promise that tomorrow I'll belong to something greater. I no longer wish to be somber.

Why is it when I catch the glimpse of a fox, they do not simply walk, but rather run. I shall like to see one not afriad.
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I'm best when slient with secrets [Aug. 5th, 2006|11:10 pm]
[mood |gloomygloomy]

The Shit haveth hiteth the faneth.

My trip is near the end and I will be, unfortunately, back in Lakewood soon. I've been really taken with Gunnison though. So much so that I honestly don't want to leave now. The big city is dull compared to the bustle and personal activities of this rather small town.
There's something to say about walking anywhere you need to go. If not, there's your trusty bike to take you here or there. The people you past greet you with a "Hello" or a generally sincere "Hi. How are you?". When did the human race become so unpersonable

I will miss this little town that I've been so taken with.

This summer has been one of the best.

When/where else can I say I've: Pee'd my pants laughing so hard, jump off a rock into a cold body of water, wore my underoos over my pants, have hand sanizter shot in my face, get one of the biggest bruises I have ever gotten, and have so many new friends that I can actually call friends.
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Star Wars like things are exciting [Jul. 31st, 2006|11:14 am]
[mood |bouncybouncy]

I came home tonight to little balls of rolled up socks strewn everywhere in the house. On the kitchen table, the cooktop, on my bed, and in the rocking chair. No one is in sight though.

I'd like to think of them as space creatures. Come to the planet earth to be my friends. But then my dreamer state is disturpted by the realization; they are just clean, balled up socks.

Yay for clean socks!
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